Monday, April 28, 2008

Unfortunately...

I've come to a conclusion I'm not keen on, made a decision I didn't want to, but things had to be done and they have been.

Not so long ago, I announced that I was seeing a long term friend on a romantic basis. Leah. I've known Leah for a few months less than I've been in SL, maybe even weeks and she's never been the sort of person who'd be online all the time, but certainly for a lot of 2007, she was MIA, AWOL etc. This cost her a relationship, as her partner at the time just couldn't handle the uncertainty of things. Not knowing how she was, what was happening etc. It'd get to anyone.

Unfortunately, it's got to me too. Since getting together with Leah, I've seen her for an approximate total of 3 hours and she's been missing now for over 5 weeks. It's not a case of 'Ships that pass in the night', where we've missed each other logging in, she hasn't logged in for over 5 weeks. I too can't take this uncertainty and therefore I'm ending things. I've been agonising over this for a while now, I've talked to friends about this and they've all said pretty much the same thing, in their own specific way and I've reached the logical conclusion and agreed with what they've been telling me, even though I knew it was really the only choice anyway.

What has also compounded and accelerated my decision is the chance meeting with someone. It's quite an amazing tale really, but I'll give you a brief rundown. We get a new, eager tenant on Motorability Island, who brings lots of staff with him, one of them being an amiable woman who is keen to integrate things and work with us. For reasons I'm not going into, she and the tenant part ways, but she continues to work with us on MI, bringing in contacts, ideas and really helping out. She's brilliant. We stay friends, in fact becoming better friends now that the business suits are out of the way. Anyway, one day we're talking about general stuff and she invites me to the launch of a new sim, owned by Linda Brown, of Lucious Latex fame (and it IS luscious!!!). Anyway, conversations lead on and I actually wound up DJing at the launch party and then hanging out there the next day, for the 'Latex Hunt', which was a lot of fun. This, is where I met someone really cool and on the same wavelength as me, totally on the same wavelength. We talked for hours, even missing most of the party there on the island. As it happens, friendship developed and more.

Yes, I'm seeing her, we're not a couple (yet), but I think it will happen. She's cute, smart, funny, intelligent, happens to log in LOTS, talented and gorgeous. I like her for WHO she is, not what she is or does (she's a fashion designer) and meeting her, totally clicking with her and just really enjoying being with her has accelerated my decision about Leah, but then as I said, I'd been slowly crawling towards the inevitable anyway, putting it off as I didn't want to hurt anyone, forgetting that at the moment, only one person is being hurt by all of this. Me.

So, no doubt I'll see 'the girl' tonight and we'll head off somewhere and be romantic together. When we're totally comfortable, I'll name names, but for the moment, I'll keep her identity a secret.

Oh and yes, I DO feel guilty that I've ended things with Leah and she's not around to get the message, but I've been leaving her IMs now for 5 weeks, emailing her and haven't heard a single word, so excuse me if I seem a little cold hearted, I'm just protecting the most important person in my life. Me.

3 comments:

Kitty O toole said...

Sorry it hasn't worked out, but from sad endings come forth new happy beginnings I hope chuck. Leah is a lovely girl and I do hope that eventually she gets in touch so that you can properly move on and end things...
Fingers crossed that it all goes well for you and your new beloved:)
Big Hugs! Kitty =^..^=

Amanda Shinji said...

Oh, you're so right, there is a happy beginning and I do worry about Leah, but it cannot and will not go back to as it was before, I've moved on, I'm making a new life with Fukmi now and we're both very happy indeed.

I don't know if Leah will understand or not, or if she'll even stay in SL. Thats her decision, not mine although I have a feeling she'll leave the Grid, if she ever comes back...

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